Hard Choices

So I sit here after a full day. Volunteering at my daughters preschool, taking care of some stuff for the spring semester of school, helping out a friend with a ride and taking my oldest daughter to dance class. I then come home to babysit my boyfriends sisters kids. My boyfriend, my kids dad, is here but really not much help. I'm coming to some realizations as I contemplate the new year. One of them being if I need to make some changes in my relationship with my boyfriend. I figure when someone asks me what I would say if my boyfriend ever asked me to marry him would I say yes and I cant answer it there may be a reason. I feel like a single parent already so really the only change with leaving him would be paying all the bills by myself. The fact that I can say that and not feel guilty, just resigned is a sign. There are many changes I need to make in this new year for me and my children. I think this may be one of them. We have been together over 10 yrs and things have been on a rollercoaster practically that entire time. There are times when everything seems perfect but there are more times when I realize we are not the same. We may never have been. Now having two kids really complicates things but I wouldn't trade my children for anything. Whatever problems and differences my and their dad have, I will always put them and what is best for them first. I just have to hope whatever choices I make, really are what's best for everyone.