Another Day

Well, things have not changed much. I still need to make some tough decisions. I at least need a talk with my boyfriend, give him a chance to fix this. Unfortunately we have danced this dance before and things only look up or get better for a little while and then we slip back into this mess of a relationship and his drinking. I wonder what is best for the children. Is living in a strained home better than living between separated parents? I know I would never put my children in the middle or use them as pawn to get back at their dad, but I wonder if he could or would be civil. It scares me, the unknown. I would have to make a lot of changes to take the steps to leave. I am currently attending school but if I left, I would need to get a job again and forgo my dream of finishing college in order to support my family. I don't have the answers and I don't pretend to have them either. Every option I pick has consequences, It's just a matter of what are the better ones. Its gonna be a short blog tonight and I missed last night but will make it up at some point. I hope to be able to clear my head by putting my thoughts and options down where I can try to make sense of them. I may never make sense but hope to at least make some progress on straightening out my and my childrens lives and making sure they are first and for most safe and happy.